One of the lessons I wish every married couple knew about is that of dealing with problems which arise that have the potential to become conflicts. I have both seen and been involved with the act of attack on the one’s we love due to the anger, frustrations and stirred emotions of having to deal with a problem that seems to weave it’s way into a relationship and take up space in the home.
There have been many wise folks throughout the centuries who have wrote and taught about this subject but with all of the wisdom available today you would think that it would be a thing of the past. So here is my solution to this problem and as simple of a method as it is the key factor to it’s success is the control over our own emotions.
1. Problem enters our lives.
2. Write problem on a piece of paper.
3. Set the piece of paper on kitchen table.
4. Work as a team to attack the problem and come up with a solution.
Rather than directing our frustrations, anger and emotions on each other we direct it all on that piece of paper. If our own actions were the cause of the problem then simply state them, but never find blame in our loved one’s actions. Question together what each can do individually and also together to fix the problem and what can be done in the future to lesson the chances of having the same problem. Even if you believe that it is the others fault for this problem never point it out. Even if the other person doesn’t admit to it, just let it go. Through your positive steps it won’t be long before your partner loses their fear of admitting to making a mistake and will soon find comfort in admitting to making a mistake through your own considerate attitude towards not pointing blame.